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Sure Fire Ways To Know You Are With A Woman

By Roger Ross

Just in case you ever need to know if you are dating a woman, here are some sure-fire clues:

  1. She is a total bitch.
  2. When you ask her "is something bothering you?"? She replies "no" and then gets pissed off when you believe her.
  3. You become attracted to her because she is outgoing and loves to party with you, start dating her and then she immediately expects you to stop this behavior.
  4. She whines.
  5. No matter what the activity you will never do it as well as her past boyfriend.
  6. If you pay attention to her, you are smothering her. If you give her space, you are ignoring her.
  7. She complains.
  8. She hates all the bars you like.
  9. She demands to be treated as an equal in everything - except when paying for meals, airplane tickets, concerts, beer, clothes etc. -  these are required gifts proving your love for her.
  10. Remember that ANY woman that so much as looks at you must be labeled a whore and her network of friends must be informed immediately to spread this as quickly as possible.
  11. She makes your life miserable and makes you feel guilty about doing anything but catering to her needs.
  12. She breaks into tears for no reason.
  13. She asks for help in some endeavor then becomes livid when it is given to her.
  14. She insinuates herself into your group of friends, she breaks up with you and then makes sure she is present at every gathering of your friends for the next month just to rub it in.
  15. She always takes an hour longer than promised to prepare for the evening.

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