Top100DatingPersonals.com

Liven Up Your Relationship!

By Sherry Stoner

Have you ever found that the start of a relationship is exciting, risky, even a bit scary, and you savor every slightly out-of-control minute of it. "I'm crazy for him," we say. "He makes my heart pound." That early relationship thrill comes from the high of discovery, from learning your partner's passions and fears. It's the mystery of the unknown and the anticipation of the unexpected: What's he thinking? Will he call?


Then all of a sudden the relationship matures and we tend to trade that intense feeling of free-falling for contentment and security. But why can't we have the best of both worlds: a rock-solid, comfortable, deeply fulfilling partnership and a regular injection of "but I barely know you" mystery?
Well you can have that and more, after talking to some friends and asking their opinions I put together 10 ways that you can keep your relationship in that exciting, thrilling, crazy stage forever.

1. Scare Yourselves Silly - Medical experts liken the body's fear response to sexual arousal — our pulse quickens and we break out in a sweat, which may explain why people voluntarily bungee-jump or descend full speed down glaciers on skis. We get a rush from being scared in a somewhat controlled environment. When we do it with a partner, we are brought together just like conquering our fears hand in hand. A friend of mine told me that her boyfriend wanted to go skydiving: "My boyfriend, Brian, wanted to go skydiving, and even though it wasn't my idea of fun, I decided to go with him so we could share the thrill. It was the scariest thing I've ever done, but also one of the most exciting moments of our time together." Granted, jumping out of a perfectly good plane may be more stimulation than many of us ever care to experience (me included), but there's always the rock-climbing wall at your gym, the scream machine of your choice at the local amusement park, or just watching a scary movie or any movie together in the dark.

2. Spill A Secret - Intimacy and thrills go hand in hand, which is probably why the initial getting-to-know-you period at the beginning of a relationship is so exciting. Another friend of mine told me that five years into a relationship, while walking along the beach on vacation, she and her boyfriend dared each other to reveal one secret about ourselves. After first insisting, "But I keep nothing from you!" I got up the guts to tell him about the M&Ms; I keep hidden in the drawer with my gym clothes, and he told me he'd lost the stuffed dolphin I'd given him on our first Christmas together. Of course you can also play a game of truth or dare but be prepared for what may be spilled during it...

3. Place A Bet - You and your partner have put $20 on Hootenanny to win in the sixth race. He rounds the far turn three back from the lead, but he's closing in fast. The horses thunder past you down the stretch, and Hootenanny wins by a nose! You jump into your partners arms and suddenly realize you're having a blast. The adrenaline rush, the decadence of throwing caution (and a few bucks) to the wind, and the slightly sleazy atmosphere of the track or your average casino all make gambling a great way to inject a little pizzazz into your relationship. Of course, you don't have to wager your hard-earned cash to get the same effect: Try playing strip poker in your living room or going to a pool hall and betting on something sexy the other has to do the next week.

4. Be A Little Daring - When I was in high school the "in" thing to do during the wee hours of a warm summer night was to sneak into the local pool and go skinny-dipping. Fear of getting caught in a compromising position is guaranteed to evoke some thrills and chills, and you can bring back that feeling as adults in small ways that won't get you thrown in the slammer. How, you ask? The next time the two of you go to a movie, hide in the last row of the theater and fool around. You can up the excitement factor by showing (more than) a little skin: A male friend told me "When the mood hits and the weather permits, my girlfriend and I take naughty photos of each other in public places like parking garages." That may not be for everyone but why not sleaze up your bedroom and do it in the privacy of your own home...and who knows what fun may come after the photos.

5. Relive Your First Date - Your first date was a mystery that had yet to be solved. There were several juicy clues — the look in your date's eyes, the way he/she kissed you — and plenty of nervous tension. But even though you know how that mystery turned out, returning to the scene of that first crime can bring back some of those old goose bumps. May I suggest you plan the evening exactly as you did the first time — same perfume, same innocent looks, everything. You can even dress separately and meet each other there. Meet at the same nightclub, dance and flirt just like you did the first time. His arm around your waist or the subtle touch of your hand to his face will be just like the first time.

6. Cyber-Romance Each Other - These days it's far too easy for a chasm of cyberspace to grow between partners. He can spend hour after hour playing a computer game, and she can't seem to get enough of the Women.com chat rooms. With email as easy as it is these days you can now send love letters to each other in a matter of minutes or better yet the steamy things you want to do to each other when you get home. After a few hours of hot steamy talk thru emails you will be racing to get home and will forget about the computer for the night.

7. Become A Master Of Seduction - A little bit of forethought can awaken some of the passion in your relationship, even on an ordinary Tuesday night, a male friend of mine likes to get home from work before his girlfriend and put a love note on the back door. "Then I have her favorite music playing with all the candles lit in the living room and a bed of pillows on the floor," he says, "and finally, the promise of a backrub to help her relax."
Another friend used a bottle of cologne to build temptation. She bought her man a scent she really liked and had it wrapped. When he went upstairs that evening to take his shower, she left it on his pillow with a card that said, "Would you wear this tonight for me, and only this?" Apparently after a few minutes, when she went upstairs to find him just the way she has asked, waiting patiently for her to come to bed. A romantic evening followed — better than ever. And he loved the cologne, too.

8. Profit From The Passion - Sex is something relationship experts universally agree will bolster just about every area of a marriage — including its thrill quotient. Increased sexual contact is a way to recapture the erotic force that brought you together in the first place. I found that after having more sex with my man that I would have a fresh coffee waiting for me in the mornings and he would even do chores around the house without me asking. All for doing what I liked doing anyways.

9. Take A Trip To Nowhere - At the beginning of your relationship, every date was an adventure; you never knew quite what was going to happen or how it was going to end up. So one weekend, take a trip — overnight or just for the day — without knowing where you're going. No packing, no planning. Grab a jacket, some food and jump in the car and start driving. Who knows where you will end up? A quaint bed and breakfast, a high class out of town hotel with all the added luxuries. Either way it will be something that will add a spark to your relationship and a great memory to relive someday.

Whether you try these tips or not or even make some of your own you are sure to have a night or even night and day you will not soon forget.

Good luck, have fun, and use your imagination.

Back to Article Index