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Break It To Him Gently.

by Sherry Stoner

Sometimes it is just difficult. Somehow you have ended up on this date with a man who will surely make someone else a very nice boyfriend/husband, but not you.

You just know you need to get rid of this jerk but you want do it with a little humor and in a way that he will be the one who wants to end it. Here are some of my personal favorites that I have used successfully.

* I got a discount the second time I was in rehab. But I have been clean now for six weeks and I am sure this time it's going to work.
* My mother is absolutely desperate for me to get married and keeps on organising dates for me. She wants six grandchildren.
* I get bored quickly in jobs, so I tend to move around quite a lot. Same goes for places where I live.
* I just cannot say no to my mother.
* I move around a lot. That way it is difficult for creditors to track me down. Would you mind paying for this if my credit card won't go through?
* My family all say they can't wait to meet you. It's been years since I took a guy home.
* My mother really freaked out when she found the handcuffs in my room.
* I am very nervous tonight. This is my first date since the court case ended. But I swear I was not guilty - and anyway, the bastard asked for it.
* My mother says she can't wait for me to get a boyfriend - she really is tired of doing my laundry.
* I think people wash their clothes and bedding far too often.
* I live for my three Rottweilers and my Harley - in that order.
* My ex-husband is a real psycho. Not even a court interdict keeps him away. See this scar on my face?
* Don't look now. That's my parole officer. If he sees me I'm back inside.
* If that guy comes over and asks who you are, just say this is a business meeting.
* My dealer died last week. Do you know of anyone who could help me out?
* Do you have any guns I could buy without going through the hassle of licensing them?

Maybe you would not use these exact lines, but I am sure you get the message. If they think that there is something weird about you that they are not into, then they will likely never ask you out again. And that is the idea here. When they dump you, they will never pester you for another date.

A word of warning though, make sure you talk to them long enough to figure out the right ending line. I was out with this very proper person once, and it was just not clicking, so I told him I was into kinky sex assuming he would drop me like a hot potato - he is still pestering me for another date!!

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